Falling into the non-binary spectrum brought so many previously unclear moments into focus, and solidified thoughts I have about my own gender expression, today. Much like when I realized I was gay, it felt like a joining of puzzle pieces I could never quite describe until they came together. It felt correct. So correct, in fact, that I felt that surge of euphoria when I felt them slide together.

What’s been far less satisfying is how it intensified my need to feel desirable.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the way I express myself. I still present fairly masculine, though…


It was International Non-binary day. I was sitting on my couch, scrolling through Twitter (as I do far too much), seeing everyone I know who’s non-binary posting stunning selfies with stories and information about being non-binary. I sat there, a small twinge of curiosity entered my mind, and I asked myself, “could I possibly be non-binary?”

So I Googled what it means to be non-binary.

I read, I researched, I found out that it’s ultimately not feeling like you identify with the gender you’re assigned based on your sex, even if you don’t necessarily feel like you’re trans (though you…


I held The Last of Us at such a high regard, when I first played it. Not only was this a story that had such powerful growth and development in the midst of a post-apocalyptic world, but it had a character I could resonate with. It was a game that I finally felt represented in, as a queer person who was becoming more comfortable in their identity.

Now that I’ve finished Part II, I feel that they didn’t take this representation to a great place. I don’t feel that it delivered on an implied promise that it would be a…


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One lesson from one of my creative writing classes that stuck with me came from an interview we watched with an author who was discussing her characters resembling people in her life. She said that when challenged by a friend or family member on whether or not a character is based off of them, especially if they thought it was in a negative light, she would ask “why do you think that?” This would challenge them to look at why exactly they think this character is based off of them, and if it truly is in a negative light, they…


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I love a good ally. An ally that just gets it, you know? It’s almost as comfortable to me as actually interacting with my best queer friends. Straight people have had such a long history of marginalizing us, that it’s so heartwarming when a straight person listens, understands, and uses what they’ve listened to so they can stand by the community. There’s a level of empathy there that gets me to respect them even more as a person, despite knowing that being an ally to the community is the equivalent to basic human decency.

At one point of the movement…


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When I came out as gay at sixteen years old, I remember feeling like I shed a stiff layer of skin that kept me from moving freely. I felt so confident; I felt like I climbed a mountain and screamed to the world that I’m gay, and there was nothing the world could do to stop me from growing into my final gay form.

However, what no one tells you is just how many more times you’ll have to come out in your life. They don’t tell you that so many more times after your initial coming out, you’ll have…


Photo by 🇨🇭 Claudio Schwarz | @purzlbaum on Unsplash

If I had a dime for every time I heard a straight person ask why they can’t be proud for being straight, I’d probably have at least enough money to share a nice brunch with a fellow queer person so we can complain about the arrogance of straight people thinking they need “straight pride” over bottomless mimosas. If I had to count how many times straight people have asked me why I am allowed to have gay pride when straight people are not allowed to have straight pride instead of asking Google, which has countless articles on why it’s an…


Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

I’ve tweeted about topics related to being in the queer community that get a lot of people riled up. I’m not necessarily trying to make anyone angry, but since we all have strong ideas on how to effectively coexist, at least some debate is likely to happen. In the midst of one of those tweets spreading around, one of my straight friends asked me how I’m able to stay so calm and politely explain my points to people. I described it to him as being the same as Bruce Banner keeping The Hulk at bay by always being angry. …


Photo by Tessa Rampersad on Unsplash

I would like to leave you all behind. I’ve become brittle and almost broken, hearing you say that I don’t deserve the future I’ve craved since I was a hopeful teen. You will no longer tell me that my body and my mind are undesirable. You will not be a weight on my ankle that I have to drag through another year. I will claw and struggle away from you if I have to, even if it means my nails will be whittled down until my fingertips bleed. …


Photo by Diego Duarte Cereceda on Unsplash

Recently, I was talking with a guy on Tinder whom I was very attracted to. We seemed to have a bit in common, and the conversation was flowing nicely, until he started asking about my sexual preferences. He mainly wanted to know whether I was a top or a bottom, and when I gave my answer, he decided that it wouldn’t work out between the two of us, and made it clear that the conversation was over, despite me suggesting that we could still be friends. …

Jeff Brutlag

Fiction/Nonfiction Writer | Twitch Affiliate focused on story driven games | A cozy gay who loves witchy vibes and Sailor Moon 🌙 He/They

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